Wednesday, December 07, 2005
So the movie starts out with a greasy haired pony tail wearing Native American Son Of A Bitch… oh I mean Steven Seagal. And I ran, I ran so far away. I just ran, I ran all night and day… whoa, sorry about that; that would be A Flock of Seagulls. Right, so… Seagal’s friend or brother or son or some relative gets killed by bad guys. Uh. Who would have guessed? Seagal goes to investigate where his friend died, and it’s in a small town (of course) and no in the town is being cooperative. So he goes into the local bar to get answers (of course) (I wonder how many times I can say (of course) in this post?) and some of the local bad boys decide to pick a fight with him (of course). There is about 6 or 7 “tough” dudes to one Seagal, and Seagal calmly and methodically whoops their ass (of course).
Ok so it’s all a typical Seagal movie, local hot and single women catches seagal's eye and they eventually fall in love after Seagal helps her out (of course). Anyways, Seagal finds out that the people who killed his friend were dumping toxic chemicals in a coal mine making people in the town sick and Seagal’s friend found that out and the bad people killed him. So basically all the bad people try to kill Seagal with automatic weapons and Seagal never gets hit once (of course), and Seagal beats and kills them all and saves the town (of course).
• Seagal decides that a key to a women’s heart is to fix her crappy house.
• Seagal NEVER GETS HURT ONCE, nothing not even a scratch.