Tuesday, December 06, 2005

 

  • Frogs
  • Talk about a weird movie. This is the kind of movie that makes you want to wrap your lips around a 12 gauge shotgun. Not because it is so bad, but because you lose all hope in humanity because at one point, someone thought, "This script looks good, lets invest a lot of money into it." Some environmentalist scientist guy is canoeing in a gulf area (i guess) taking pictures of polution and what not. Some crazy drunks in a speed boat end up tipping his canoe over. So they pick him up and bring him back to the family estate to dry off. He meets the family, and the "plot" is layed out.

    They notice that recently there have been a lot of frogs in the area. They don't really bother to figure out why, mostly because they don't have time since
    the frogs have other plans. Even though this movie is called "Frogs", the frogs don't do anything AT ALL, except clips of frogs hopping around are pasted in between each scene. These little snippets probably add up to about 82% of the movie's length. Apparently these frogs have telepathic powers? Maybe? Hell, I don't know. But the frogs don't do anything, but other reptiles and critters do.

    So now, the family is all gathered for the 4th of July, and by golly Grandpa says they are going to have a party, no matter what! Well, family members start dying all over the place, but they aren't really killed by frogs or reptiles, more like accidents while frogs and reptiles are around. And dig this...one lady gets killed by tree moss. You heard me correct, tree moss attacked and killed a lady. Even with all of this happening, the Grandpa is unphased and continues to have his little 4ht of July party. His family is dying all around him, but he still plays his turntable and eats his cake. Well, a couple of them make it off the islan....wait a minute, IT WAS MAINLAND AND THEY ARE ALL RETARDED! hmmmmm.....damn it, where is that shotgun.

    Memorable Moments
    • Grandpa stuck in his ways
    • Old lady chasing butterflies, gets killed by tree moss
    • The creepy sexual tension between the brother and sister
    • The look on Myrle's face when the movie was over

    by UberBrian


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