Wednesday, December 07, 2005

 

  • Red Lined
  • Vrroooommm. I saw this movie in the dump bin at Wal-Mart, and thought to myself "Self, this Fast and the Furious ripoff looks good (bad)." So I purchased it. I read the back of the box where it told me to get ready for an all out street war of top of line modded Euro-street-racin-rice-burnin excitement. I go home, grab a diet sams soda and my little puppy popcorn tin and get ready for 90 minutes of in your face racing.

    +10 min- So far I've seen a Skyline with a ground effects kit driving over a bridge
    +12 min- Ok, the skyline raced a classic camaro, but barely got over 50 mph
    +15 min- Someone shoots up the skyline, it goes to the shop
    +16 min- The driver of the skyline is a drug dealer
    +30 min- ummmm...no racing.
    +45 min- still no racing.
    +60 min- oohh a chase scene...but it is at idle speeds through a loading dock

    End of movie-........ok, there was absolutely no racing whatsoever in this movie. I guess, some of the characters had nice cars, and when the guy got his skyline back, he did a donut, but not before melting off one wheel because he couldn't get positive traction.

    This movie was riddle with lame stunts, poor acting, boring writing, and ugly british people. Typical, main character cuts deal with cops to bring in the bigger fish, then main character sets up big fish, screws big fish, but figures out a way to screw the cops and make a getaway with all the loot.

    Memorable Moments
    • Droppin a gear during opening race, and taking the tach up to, wait for it, 4,000 rpm
    • Crushing a guy in a parking garage with his own car
    • The drug containers looking suspiciously like sexual toys
    • Not being able to figure out if the guys girlfriend was hot or not
    • Seeing the guys girlfriend and the (female) cop in the shower together at the end
    • Realizing the girlfriend and the cop are neither one hot

    by UberBrian

    Comments:
    But Brian,
    This is the movie that the InternetMovieCARDatabase said had the most WRX's.
    Doesn't that count for something?
     
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