Saturday, January 07, 2006
Oh Richard Roundtree you hot sexy man you. You know, if I were a movie writer, and I had Richard Roundtree as my lead man, I would probably write a scene where he is naked for absolutely no reason. You would think that the writers for this movie would do the same… oh wait a second… they did. Big ol’ Shaft gets taken out with a tranquilizer dart and wakes up in a barn completely nude. Then Shaft has to fight a big African guy with his big ol’ stick. Yep, fights the guy with his big wooden stick. Well Shaft gets distracted and gets knocked out again, this time he wakes up in some sort of weird desert room and Shaft is told to walk around the little room for hours while still being completely naked at this point, but smooth Shaft decides just to burry himself in the sand, and the kidnappers are satisfied with that I guess.
Why did Shaft get kidnapped you ask yourself? Well I’m not really sure. Something about a slave trader and they wanted Shaft to do some undercover work as a slave and wanted to send him back to Africa… oh I mean send him to Africa. So Shaft goes to Africa with his big stick and gets himself a dog, makes sweet sweet lovin’ to the kidnapper’s daughter while throwing out the line “You’ve had some gooood teachins baby” and meets up with an African dude to help him become a slave or something like that. Other crap happens Shaft kicks some ass after his dog gets killed and is asked how big his stick is by the bad guys girlfriend and he replies “Baby, by now it's shrunk down to 20 inches”… good ol Shaft. He love "the ladies".
To sum up the movie Shaft busts up the slave ring, gets the girl, hooked up with the girl he gets in a corn field (the one with some gooood teachins), remembers that he gave the bad guys girlfriend all 20 plus inches, remembers that the bad guys girlfriend was white, almost got another girl but after looking back is glad that he didn’t (big girl), kills all the bad guys and probably only got one STD. Now that’s a good week! Shaft Shaft… shut yo mouth!
Memorable moments:
Why did Shaft get kidnapped you ask yourself? Well I’m not really sure. Something about a slave trader and they wanted Shaft to do some undercover work as a slave and wanted to send him back to Africa… oh I mean send him to Africa. So Shaft goes to Africa with his big stick and gets himself a dog, makes sweet sweet lovin’ to the kidnapper’s daughter while throwing out the line “You’ve had some gooood teachins baby” and meets up with an African dude to help him become a slave or something like that. Other crap happens Shaft kicks some ass after his dog gets killed and is asked how big his stick is by the bad guys girlfriend and he replies “Baby, by now it's shrunk down to 20 inches”… good ol Shaft. He love "the ladies".
To sum up the movie Shaft busts up the slave ring, gets the girl, hooked up with the girl he gets in a corn field (the one with some gooood teachins), remembers that he gave the bad guys girlfriend all 20 plus inches, remembers that the bad guys girlfriend was white, almost got another girl but after looking back is glad that he didn’t (big girl), kills all the bad guys and probably only got one STD. Now that’s a good week! Shaft Shaft… shut yo mouth!
Memorable moments:
- The fact that we think they actually killed the dog and not faked it somehow.
- One of the kidnappers looked like a white guy with dirty brown face paint so that he was black.
- The very crapy fighting that went on throughout the whole movie, I mean I think the mom in Galaxy Invader delivered better hits.
# posted by UberHaters @ 3:49 PM 
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crappy fight is right. you could almost see their mouths counting. 1, 2, 3, punch,.... 1, 2, 3, block,.... left, left, right, DUCK.
JOWIE....JOWIE!!!!
UberBrian
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JOWIE....JOWIE!!!!
UberBrian
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