Monday, February 06, 2006
Monster Man
Okey Dokey, lets get this over with. This movie starts out with an annoying nerd and an annoying asshole. Other reviews call this guy "the next Jack Black", and the people who say this obviously live in caves. Anyway, they are taking a road trip to some girls wedding so nerd guy can profess his love for her. Pretty much the first 30 minutes of this movie is the two guys riding in the car while asshole guy annoys EVERYBODY!.
They go into bars while asshole guy makes fun of everyone, then a monster truck starts ramming them on the highway. Of course, they see a hot girl hitchhiking. They don't pick her up, but she sneaks into their car later down the road.
[FAST FORWARD]
...SEX SCENE!!! wheeee..... wait a minute.....she is keeping all her clothes on....ooh man, it's PG-13 I guess. Well, ok..I guess I will still watch. She is on top of nerd dude (thats right) and all of sudden starts talking like Yoda (thats right). Lines like "Do or die, there is no try, young jedi" and "I feel the force flowing through you" were said in a low raspy voice. (thats right).
[FAST FORWARD]
Monster Man in his Monster Truck runs over people and takes their body parts to rebuild his Frankestein brother or something. Turns out, hot hitchhiker chic is their sister, and was playing nerd guy and asshole guy the whole time. She set them to take their body parts.
The end of the movie takes a dark twist. This movie goes from spooky road trip horror flick, to demonic, satanic, movie that makes you want to pray for forgiveness just because you saw it.
Nerd guy kills Monster Man by outsmarting him and forcing him to run into a coat rack or something. Then they run over him in his truck for about 5 hours.
I can't continue....this movie was horrible, don't watch it.
Memorable Moments
• Asshole dude "eating out" roadkilled cat in his sleep.
• Monster Man's schwager
• Creepy people who have missing limbs.
And Introducing
"WTF?" Moment
• Girl having sex with guy and quoting Yoda from Star Wars.
UberBrian
They go into bars while asshole guy makes fun of everyone, then a monster truck starts ramming them on the highway. Of course, they see a hot girl hitchhiking. They don't pick her up, but she sneaks into their car later down the road.
...SEX SCENE!!! wheeee..... wait a minute.....she is keeping all her clothes on....ooh man, it's PG-13 I guess. Well, ok..I guess I will still watch. She is on top of nerd dude (thats right) and all of sudden starts talking like Yoda (thats right). Lines like "Do or die, there is no try, young jedi" and "I feel the force flowing through you" were said in a low raspy voice. (thats right).
Monster Man in his Monster Truck runs over people and takes their body parts to rebuild his Frankestein brother or something. Turns out, hot hitchhiker chic is their sister, and was playing nerd guy and asshole guy the whole time. She set them to take their body parts.
The end of the movie takes a dark twist. This movie goes from spooky road trip horror flick, to demonic, satanic, movie that makes you want to pray for forgiveness just because you saw it.
Nerd guy kills Monster Man by outsmarting him and forcing him to run into a coat rack or something. Then they run over him in his truck for about 5 hours.
I can't continue....this movie was horrible, don't watch it.
Memorable Moments
• Asshole dude "eating out" roadkilled cat in his sleep.
• Monster Man's schwager
• Creepy people who have missing limbs.
And Introducing
"WTF?" Moment
• Girl having sex with guy and quoting Yoda from Star Wars.
UberBrian
# posted by UberHaters @ 6:50 AM 
